I've been T1 since I was 18 months old (I'm 21 now), and I'm just so exhausted, physically, mentally, and emotionally. I have really bad mental problems that get in the way as well, so it's an endless cycle of mental health toying with diabetes, diabetes toying with mental health, etc. I had to drop school to take care of my health. I have a checkup in a few days and I'm so scared they're gonna take my pump away from me (have been on pump since I was around 2-3). I was threatened by a previous doctor that they would take away my pump if I didn't take care of myself and I now I'm always scared. The doctors keep telling me I'll die at a young age, and they've been saying that since I was about 13. I have it embedded into my brain that I'm gonna die at a young age, and that scares me so much I don't want to do anything. I shouldn't be afraid of my doctor. I apologize for this dark rant. I have no diabetic friends I can talk to about this. This community is the only thing close to that. If anybody has any advice, I'm all for it.
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