I fucked up royally

Hello everyone, I'm gonna get straight to the point.

So I'm a 14 y/o with type 1. My clinic appointment is at 8:00 AM and I am scared as fuck, here's why.

So I have a problem with not checking my blood sugar if I think it's high. It gives me anxiety and honestly I just get really angry whenever I see a high number. I try to keep it under control but it's just super bad.

Anyway, when I go to the clinic they're gonna check my meter and look at the numbers for the past month. I'm supposed to be checking it 4 times a day, but they're gonna see maybe 2-4 days where I haven't checked it at all and some days where I've only checked it 2-3 times. My mom is going to be with me and she's going to be super angry with me and I'm scared the doctors will too. I don't want to make a scene but I'm scared that they'll be like "this is the last straw" or whatever and they'll do something drastic (I have no idea what that might be, maybe it's just the anxiety speaking).

I just got on a pump not even 2 months ago, what if they take it away? It's been helping my blood sugars a lot but I am just so scared that they'll take it if they see that's it's making me check my sugars less or whatever.

Can someone please tell me what they think? Maybe I'm being over-dramatic, I don't know.