I get super suicidal thoughts when I wake up in the middle of the night with a very low blood sugar. Anyone else experience this?

First off, sorry if posts like these are not allowed or if this makes anyone uncomfortable. Hopefully it doesn’t get deleted, just looking to hear back from people in our community to see if you all experience this and if so how you cope with it.

I’ve been pretty depressed for a really long time, much of my life. Im 27, going through some major issues internally that have nothing to do with diabetes, so life has been a little hard these days.

Anyway, for most of the day I am ok because I have work to distract me. Then the inevitable depression hits when I get home but it’s usually just a sinking lonely feeling. I never ever experience suicidal thoughts throughout the day, but there is one situation that makes me do... and that’s when I wake up in the middle of the night with a really low blood sugar.

Depression and all other things have made it difficult for me to control my blood sugars normally. These days I’ve been super good about it, cut back on my sugar intake and have been using an app to help me count carbs and be more responsible.

But occasionally or sometimes 1-3 times a week I will wake up in the middle of the night with a very low blood sugar. Automatically I will hop out of bed quickly, grab a soda or juice and snack on some crackers then go to bed. But as I am sitting there trying to get my bs back up to normal I start to feel really bad. I’m exhausted, tired, I feel emotionally drained. Let me tell you having diabetes is not a walk in the park but most days I am ok and don’t ever think “why me” or “why do I have diabetes”. I’ve been managing it really well these past few months so I feel really good about my diabetes. But whenever I wake up with a low blood sugar it makes me feel so depressed and suicidal. I can’t help it, it’s like I’m a totally different person or like my emotions are taking over my thinking.

I don’t ever do anything of course, but I do feel like I just want to die (I know that sounds dramatic but I’m being legit serious).

Then I go to bed and wake up and feel ok.

But those moments are really tough for me and I feel so terrible.

Anyone else experience this?