No real point here, just wanting to get this off my mind and mope a bit.
I was DX'ed just over a year ago. I've adjusted fairly well. I grieved and cried like a baby for the first few weeks. I had random stints of depression about it all for the first 6 months or so. But eventually I accepted this hand that was dealt to me.
I'm now at the point I feel more confident and I know that I can control it and not let it control me. It's starting to become "routine" for me and I am able to focus on other things - it's not so scary anymore (thanks Dexcom <3).
But every now and then, I take an injection and for some reason it just completely tanks my spirits. It's like I was diagnosed, I felt sick and I was given a challenge - to get better. I've done that and now as the new becomes normal, it is starting to sink in that this is my fucking life from here on. Do this every day all day, or die.
My family and close friends are supportive. Every time I go home my diabetes is the topic of discussion. I know everyone is just interested because they care and want to make sure I'm ok. I have nothing to complain about. It just adds to that feeling of I'm not "me" anymore, I'm "diabetic me" and even my family thinks it.
It's amazing how I can be in such a good mood, then one little injection just brings me back to my DX and the gut-wrenching feeling it gave me. Injecting myself with insulin for no reason other than I woke up and rushed to work shouldn't be normal. I shouldn't have to do this and deal with this and everything else that's related to "this". Why is this my fucking life now?
That is all... Diabetes sucks, we all know it. Major props to everyone here, especially those that have been at it their whole life.
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