It's just one of those days.

I feel like this stupid disease is winning. My sugars have been terrible for the past couple months no matter how well I try to keep them under wraps. I think maybe I have gastroparesis but I don't know for sure. A part of me doesn't want to know. The other part doesn't have the money to go to the doctor and find out. My sugars will be okay, I will eat, and they will be fine for 6 hours plus and then all of the sudden rise like no other. I'll take insulin to correct. Nothing will happen for hours. And so I'll take more, and then come an hour or so later- a drastic decline. It's just taking a toll on me. I feel like I'm running on empty. I'm trying so hard to manage my disease but failing. I just want to live. I just want to be here for my fiancée and our future children. I'm just upset, angry, and depressed. I'm fighting a losing battle. I just want to have a normal life.

I'm sorry. I just needed someone to vent to. It's easier talking to people who understand than to have people act like they know how hard it is.