I am optimistic about my life with Type 1, especially now that I consider getting a pump and CGM. But I am nervous and just feel weird about needing things attached to my body...

I hear great things about pumps and CGM, I want to get them too. I hear they are close as I can get to "being normal" with good control.

But still... it just feels weird. I had this for 3 years, I did keto, I did exercise, I was on honeymoon so I didn't need insulin, I didn't need anything, especially nothing attached to me.

And I am not uncomfortable with having something attached, it is just... weird. Kinda hard to accept. It is not necessary, it is just useful.

I just want to have a good, healthy life. Eat well, not junk food or anything, just well. Exercise, be healthy, be fit. And enjoy the occasional cake with a friend that I love or my mom's baking. That is what I tell myself a lot lately. I have started pens again, I eat a lot of junk food, I drifted away from keto probably further as possible...

Maybe this isn't about pumps or CGMs, I just find it hard to accept. But I am hopeful and optimistic, I am good with schedules, routines, numbers, this is going to be nothing to me. This is a challenge, Type 1. No cure in sight, as far as I know, maybe one in 5 years? They say that every 5 years, don't they? But I can still eat food, I can still drink water, I can still walk, enjoy life, I can still exercise, make love, take care of myself. I can still be healthy, maybe healthier, than "normal".

I don't know... just feeling weird, I wish I didn't have this. I want to be normal. But maybe this is normal, having challenges in life, imperfections, having something attached to your body so you can enjoy life well.

There are worse situations, I always hear that since I got diagnosed and that doesn't make me one bit of happier about what I have. But I am not sad anyway, I just wish I didn't have it.

But I will make it, I will get a pump, I will get a CGM, I will eat better, I will exercise. I am going to make it, we are all going to make it.

After all, I am still young and healthy, probably healthier than most people my age. I just need to use an electronic pancreas, not an organic one and go manual rather than auto.