21 and struggling.

Hi there. I'm 21 (F) yrs old and have been diagnosed with type 2 diabetes since I was 15 yrs. I've always struggled with it, my sugars are usually high. Like scary high (they never dip below 380. I start showing symptoms of low blood sugar around 180-200). I've had everyone and their mother tell me how unhealthy I am, that I may not deal with it now, but the complications will catch up to me later. I don't know why I can't seem to get my shit together and start taking care of myself. I want it, I know it sounds like a lazy excuse, but I don't know how to do better. I don't know how to stop eating sugar or not taking my medicine like I'm supposed to. I want to do better, but this horrible habit of not taking care of myself for the past 6 yrs has been taking over me like I don't have control anymore.