Dear Metformin

Like a bad ex, we're back together. My insurance doesn't make your chicer, more media-savvy cousins affordable anymore.

I have one thing to say to you: my ass has nothing more to give to you today. I feel raw, afraid the slightest fart is going to lead to an explosion. Please, for the love of God, stop making me shit 4x in an hour. There simply nothing left to give you.