I scroll through social media and see people living their lives. Bitching about their lives. Fucking up their lives. Succeeding in their lives. Whatever. They can do any of these without having to worry about being their own pancreas, and as much as some of you guys have the LanceArmstrong™ attitude, I surely don't. This disease sucks. It is expensive, it completely rerouted my life, I feel like shit several times a week, and I get really aggravated when i see people's lives without this disease. It limits me, and it is foolish to act like it won't continue to do so.
If they have a good life, I feel a bit of resentment and anger even if I love the person. Why can't I have that? I am well aware that their life is not as good as it seems and in reality they are probably just as unhappy as myself.
Is their life fucked up? They are a waste. They have the opportunity to not be burdened and they completely waste it.
Anyways, I legitimately feel like nobody in my life understands this at all so I wanted to post it here. I know some of you will just call me a whiner, and that is true. But it is hard for me to have that positive attitude some people have. This shit sucks and I cannot help but feel jaded. I find most of my worldview being centered around it. Maybe someone knows how I feel.
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