The last few months especially, I’ve started skipping meals entirely and allowing my glucose to stay low. I generally have some black coffee when I start feeling really bad (like right now), but then allow it to stay low. I eat dinner because I feed my family. I only eat breakfast on weekends when my husband is home because he brings it to me. He doesn’t know I do this and would be pretty upset if he knew I wasn’t taking care of myself. I know how to take care of myself. I have the time to do it, working from home the way I am. I just don’t. I don’t know why exactly. When I start to get the headaches and the shaky feeling, I mostly ignore it and keep working. Sometimes it kind of feels exhilarating, which is what made me think for the first time today that this might be self-harm. I’m typing this up, feeling terrible, with plenty of healthy snacks and easy meals in my fridge, but I’d honestly rather feel bad.
Anyways, I don’t know if I need advice or just to admit what I’m doing.
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