Some Angry Venting

I'm 19, and I've had T1D since the age of 5. I hope that whoever is reading this doesn't think I'm a complete psychopath, just worked up and this seems the best place to vent.

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I found this thread and after reading my first post I thought, maybe I'll finally find something in common with others as I have never met another Type 1 diabetic. I've been scrolling through for a while now, and I'm just seemingly becoming more upset (although I finally can relate to someone).

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Diabetes has to be one of the must frustrating things in the world, at least looking at it from the inside. It's this bullshit disease that is ungodly annoying. There is no winning against it. There isn't a road to recovery. It just exists. It affects every single little thing you do. I wake up in the morning, and I'm worried about what my BG is. I go to work, better make sure I pack extra snacks and something in case my sugar drops. I also have to make sure I have additional supplies, because when do things ever work the way they're supposed to? I'm getting ready for bed? I have to make sure everything is working correctly. I feel as if there isn't a single fucking thing in the world I can do where diabetes isn't considered somewhere in the process. It's like a tiny asterisk on every single thing. It feels like the smallest things just keep adding and adding into a mountain of shit.

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I feel like I'm a step behind everyone else in the world. It takes me an extra minute to prepare for a meal, an extra minute to get things ready. It takes me an extra minute before I go do physical activity. It takes me an extra minute before I get in the shower. It takes me an extra minute before I commit to any single action ever. There isn't a break. I can't take even 1 day every 3 or 5 years and just BE NORMAL. I guess the worst part is there isn't anything I can do other than just maintain. I can only improve my A1C so much. I can eat the perfect foods and still have bad days.

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As a final note, I do understand that other people have it much worse, and I try to use that as some perspective. I do not mean to take anything away from other people and any problems they might have, this is just mine. On my good days, sometimes I am thankful this is all I have to endure and deal with. On my bad days, well, here it is.

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Thank you for letting me vent, and I'm sorry if this seems all over the place.