I feel like the US wants me to die and I feel hopeless.

This is a rant. I'm not suicidal, but the last threads of my sanity are fraying.

Like most here I'm still having to stick to a pretty strict quarantine and simple things like going to my lobby to collect mail or, at the farthest, picking up an order at my next door pizzeria- I'll see few masks. The news highlights the so called "freedom fighters" who refuse to put a small piece of fabric over their face as a way of mockery, but this has only allowed these cowards to spread their viral thought processes. They say a mask makes them "feel trapped" it's almost humorous to me. You know who feels trapped? Me. A HUGE percentages of the US population. The people on ventilators. Chemo patients. Many of us here.

The question that keeps being asked is, "What can we do to make you actually care about your community" but to break this down- it's 'how can I make you care about the elderly, the sick, hell- children with cancer? Along with those with immunity issues that usually allow them to live and work right beside you.' But simply- they don't care about the elderly, children with cancer, their neighbors. They are too far gone and I feel I could easily find evidence of them justifying purging the immunocompromised.

I'm incredibly depressed and pleading to live- feels futile. I know I have an important job and I do add to society, but what is the benefit of helping a society that wants me to die?

I see in our future getting a vaccine but people continuing to childishly dig their heels in- refusing to get it- allowing the virus to quickly mutate and void any gains.

I'm feeling hopeless- and trapped.